Could You Please Turn it Down a Bit?
Only recently, I have started noticing the absurdly loud volume of everything. Now it may be because I am just getting old and frail, but everything is all of a sudden too loud. I walk into a shop (particularly a clothes shop) and I can't hear myself think.
"Oh, that doesn't look so bad, ill go try it on. Wait, fuck, no I won't, Jamiroquai is being played at 12-billion decibals. Oh God, someone is even dancing. Right, time to cut out my eyes."
And then there's TV ads. I find myself in the bathroom or the kitchen, and being able to hear the ads in there better than I could hear the TV show that was on when I was sitting on the couch. It's actually amazing just how much louder the TV ads are. And half of them are filled with people screaming.
"Come to the massive super ultra mega hyper power sale at the warehouse! Must end tonight! Or tomorrow. Or when we feel like we have sold enough. But fuck, get down here right now, or you'll miss it! You haven't moved from your TV yet! Quickly, come down otherwise the 6 billion persian rugs and 5 trillion sets of underwear may be gone! Never mind the fact that it's 10:30 at night! Just get the fuck out of your house! Slashed prices for up to 5 different items! That's right! 5! Holy shit!" And so on an so forth.
My parents own a home theatre business. And we sell a subwoofer called a DD-18. This thing is, I kid you not, 120kgs and about 100cm tall and 50x50 wide. It's a fucking big sub. Now we have only had these in stock for about a month, and we have already sold about 5. Who the hell needs a sub the size of a fucking country? It's not healthy to listen to this thing go even half as loud as it can. It can cause serious permanent damage. But people are buying them and taking them home. It loud not good enough? Do people need "So fucking loud that not only will you lose your hearing, you you will lose your sight, sense of smell and control of your bladder loud"? Because that's basically the specialty of this thing. To kill people through noise.
So we really need to just tone things down a notch. Or maybe I just need to figure out how to change the volume on my TV. I don't know. That is all.
T.
"Oh, that doesn't look so bad, ill go try it on. Wait, fuck, no I won't, Jamiroquai is being played at 12-billion decibals. Oh God, someone is even dancing. Right, time to cut out my eyes."
And then there's TV ads. I find myself in the bathroom or the kitchen, and being able to hear the ads in there better than I could hear the TV show that was on when I was sitting on the couch. It's actually amazing just how much louder the TV ads are. And half of them are filled with people screaming.
"Come to the massive super ultra mega hyper power sale at the warehouse! Must end tonight! Or tomorrow. Or when we feel like we have sold enough. But fuck, get down here right now, or you'll miss it! You haven't moved from your TV yet! Quickly, come down otherwise the 6 billion persian rugs and 5 trillion sets of underwear may be gone! Never mind the fact that it's 10:30 at night! Just get the fuck out of your house! Slashed prices for up to 5 different items! That's right! 5! Holy shit!" And so on an so forth.
My parents own a home theatre business. And we sell a subwoofer called a DD-18. This thing is, I kid you not, 120kgs and about 100cm tall and 50x50 wide. It's a fucking big sub. Now we have only had these in stock for about a month, and we have already sold about 5. Who the hell needs a sub the size of a fucking country? It's not healthy to listen to this thing go even half as loud as it can. It can cause serious permanent damage. But people are buying them and taking them home. It loud not good enough? Do people need "So fucking loud that not only will you lose your hearing, you you will lose your sight, sense of smell and control of your bladder loud"? Because that's basically the specialty of this thing. To kill people through noise.
So we really need to just tone things down a notch. Or maybe I just need to figure out how to change the volume on my TV. I don't know. That is all.
T.
posted by Sunshine at 2:21 AM
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